Well

I can't believe how fast this week went.
I thought my homesick-ness was done for, but sometimes I just feel so desolate and empty. Not to mention I feel so stressed all the time. My mind is never in one place and I can't focus on anything that I'm doing, I hate caring so much and I don't know why I do, but I do anyway. I can never seem to get a grip on anything and balance out my life. It's all just school, it seems. And I can't help but feel so lonely. I haven't taken on a "best friend" in fears I'll become someone's bitch and be fucked over. Plus, I'd rather have a lot of friends then a really close friend here. I already have people that I'm close with. But, I just miss them so much, it's unbearable.
I don't know what my problem is. I can't see what I could be miserable about. I feel like I've been replaced in everyone's lives since I've left Pearl River. But, I definietly like college more than High School. Looking back on high school, I feel like I wasted my time. I mean, it's over and done with, so I can't do anything about it.
I just feel so stuck in this rut. I'm always n a rut. I want to enjoy my life and feel something. I don't remember the last time I felt something. I feel like such a douche bag saying this, cause i sound like a patehtic shit, but I kind of just want someone to flirt and snuggle with. Is that fucking gay? I son't know. i just can't help it. I'm so tired I can't see straigh. I'm stoppping writing right now. later
Caitit.